Had an interesting eveing talking to a friend who has been going through relationship problems. We talked at length about feelings, actions and more importantly advice. He advised that people have told him to just 'poke around, see what's out there (if you will).' Of course, everyone has words of wisdom for someone facing strife. For example, these folks giving him womanly advice are here just for the now, for the immediate satisfaction and moment. It is a great way to forget about the past and move on to the next one. Complete jerks? Probably not. Short sighted and immature? Certainly. Who doesn't love offering advice, especially when solicited. I love giving advice. I love being an advisor, a mediator; hell, my ideal job is to be the ombudsman for National Public Radio (baby steps to hit that dream). However, not all advice is beneficial in the long-term.
How often is someone scorned and the immediate response is to indulge in vices? Whether it be drugs, drink or seduction, the easiest reprieve from a difficult situation is to indulge in life's greatest maleficences. It is easy to forget that every experience and encounter allows one to become a better, more fulfilled individual or transversely allows one to suppress or ignore the duty of here and now. It is easy to get caught up in the minutiae of life whether it be a job, people or surroundings. I do, however, always take a moment to ground myself and refocus on what is important. Every experience, bother, hatred or scorn is just an opportunity to grow as an individual. The difficulty comes in being aware and possessing a willingness to constantly evaluate and reevaluate.
Advice comes in many forms. I lean heavily towards a meditative and Buddhist lifestyle. I believe everything happens for a reason; life offers a lesson at every turn and ultimately the hope is that, "Whenever you fall, pick something up." While I never want to preach or act better than another I do try to always look at the big picture, evaluating how today's actions will impact tomorrow. What I do today will ultimately shape who I am tomorrow and how others receive me.
Taking a step back, I think about the shortsighted advice to just live for this very moment. I certainly believe in being happy today. here. now. Does happiness equal contentment? Of course. However, while we should all try to live in the present and be happy in thee here and now it is extremely detrimental to forgo respect, forgetting and/or ignoring all actions and/or consequences...it invalidates other's opinions, feelings and lives. To be truly happy, enlightened and content, means respecting everyone, regardless of the situation and/or background, embracing differences rather than contempt for what is unfamiliar or foreign.
Advice comes in many forms. It is easy to take the cowardly way out, acting like a jerk, not facing true feelings or acting in a manner unbecoming of an adult ( I use that term loosely - just what does it mean to be an adult?!? - surely another blog topic all its own). It takes an honest individual to be true to oneself and others, regardless of how hard that may be. A challenge I impress upon myself, are you up for it?
