exit interviews

All of life's ups and downs should be accompanied by exit interviews. You know, the prerequisite final hurrah when quitting an organization. Why are you leaving? What was good? What needs improvement? Why is the grass greener?

A lot could be gleaned if life could do the same. If every time you faced disappointment from someone or something you could sit down and gather honest, upfront information. If every time something didn't work out as you wanted or expected it to there would be someone who could tell you exactly why. Don't get me wrong, there is an aspect to that in every day life. Ask anyone who has shed tears to family and friends, there are people there to listen to our plights and offer sage advise. Sometimes, however, it isn't enough.

Part of personal and professional development is being coachable. Being humble enough to know you need to improve and having someone (yourself, a boss, a friend, a lover) outline what that improvement entails and why.

As people I think we are often afraid to disappoint and hurt others as well as ourselves. I believe if we functioned in an environment of open communication, albeit without accusation or hurtful intent, many people would be open not only to some introspective improvement, but also to live more for others and pay it forward.

I don't know. Life throws weird turns our way and it can be tough to understand why things happen the way they do. Instead of focusing on the past, I need to control what I can today and act upon that. Easy to say, sometimes it feels impossible to do.A few friends have told me lately to let go of the control and just go with the flow. This exit interview is helpful. The more I try to tightly hold everything and force a hand the more I create my own expectations and set myself up for disappointment.

So life as you were for so many yesterdays, here is my exit interview: I have a death grip on what I want to but cannot control. The death grip ends today. I need to go and explore and not be side tracked by my fear of the unknown. I cannot plan out everything and some things only happen when one is completely willing to just jump in and swim. So my dissatisfaction with career, personal life, whatever can't change unless I am the one to make it happen. Watch out life, my c'est la vie attitude and lifestyle returns to propel me into the best chapter yet.

If you love it, let it go

I have a sign posted in my bedroom that simply states, "If you love it, Let It Go. Let it go..." A friend came over recently and asked me about it. Why would I have a sign stating that if I love something I should let it go? I told her it is a reminder to stop dwelling and instead focus on what I can do, change and have. There is no point in hanging on to things that are outside of my control. If I love something and want something in my life I need to make it happen, otherwise, let it go and be free from the stranglehold.

I have been thinking a lot about that in recent months, hence the sign. I came across a great link from my Twitter feed today. There is a fantastic site called Tiny Buddha that focuses on little things that put life in perspective. Ways to refocus and concentrate on what is important in life. I ran across a specific link to a post about being happy by stopping all the hoping. Sounds counterintuitive? Maybe, but read the post, it makes sense. 

The entire post, Do Happy: Stop Hoping, is relevant, but this portion particularly resonated with me:

When you push through today for a better tomorrow without doing anything to create that new possibility your hope creates the illusion of change to come.

When you hold onto the past, hoping to revive a relationship, situation, or time that’s come and gone your hope precludes even better possibilities in the present.

Stop hoping for what can be, what may be or what was. Make the changes you want to make to be where you want to be. It is so easy to live in a what if, if only, when this type of life but until we're all willing to accept where we are now and where we want to be can we cannot forge ahead and make real life changes. No, it isn't easy, but being conscious of the self, of the being is a first step in truly being happy and not just waiting and hoping for that next change.

What will you do to stop hoping and be happy?