Creativity
[kree-ey-tiv-i-tee] n. the ability
to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like,
and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.;
originality, progressiveness, or imagination.
A glorious and frustrating concept.
I contain a lot of creativity; many ideas:
standard, complex, normal, abstract. Self-discipline is my own worst enemy. I
fight it, I resign myself against it, I eventually and occasionally embrace
output in spurts - a vicious cycle of self-loving and loathing.
I make stuff. I like it, love it even. Cards,
images, stitching, writing. I have an extensive ‘to create’ list full of ideas
I want to make and articulate. Some of these things I am actually pretty good
at doing.
I am told I have a 'good eye'. This eye is the
core of it but not a sustaining feature - the discipline, the ability to
overcome fear must be present – so difficult, I am forever reaching and beating
myself up when I can’t find it quickly enough, easily enough. It is hard. I
don't write this to garner sympathy but to explore why so many creative people
(and I'm guessing most of us are), namely ME, don't ever get outside of our own
heads, our own fears, our own damn laziness.
Ira Glass has a quote (thanks to a friend who
posted a .jpeg on the interwebs) that oscillates in my head, taunting me,
encouraging me, "Nobody
tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who
do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this
gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s
trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing
that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work
disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most
people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We
know our work doesn't have this special thing that we want it to have. We all
go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this
phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do
a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish
one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close
that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to
figure out how to do this than anyone I've ever met. It’s gonna take awhile.
It’s normal to take awhile. You've just gotta fight your way through."
Creativity, like anything, is a process. It is
not immediate; creativity takes time, it takes dedication, it takes heart, most
of all, it takes self-acceptance. I am here to accept my abilities, my talent
and to grow it instead of stifling myself through fear or the unknown.
These past few days I have been in an output
mode, self-love instead of self-loathe, my heart goes into my creative output
the goal of self-discipline and self-loving to follow. As the creative output
ramps up, hell, I am even writing about it.
Sealing up a new, completely original card to
a friend I smile; realizing this is as much for her as it is for me. The quote
I chose, a Chinese proverb, reads: The journey is the reward.
